So you go to the Doctor for “The annual physical.” First up is the paperwork. Fill out this and that. Insure you have the correct updated information regarding your name, address, contact info, emergency contact, and most important insurance policy number and provider. No sweat! Then you get called back to the hall for a height measurement (which has me shrinking). The dreaded weight in is next. Step on the scale and BOOM! How can that be? I eat as healthy as I want to! I get exercise, again when I want to! I still fit into the same clothes I have had for a little while. (Even if they are a little tight). We proceed to the exam room. Get the pressure checked (Little high, but to be expected, I’m a little nervous.) Temperature Good! Please get undressed, and into this backwards shirt with no back. (Feeling a little Kris- Cross- for you rappers out there!) Have a seat, Dr. will be with you shortly.

After a brief 20 minutes of phone apps and text messages, The doc arrives. Gets the scope of your life over the past year since your last physical and history of your parents. (Not sure what is up with me, let alone the folks.) Pushes on the belly for a minute in different areas, checks your breathing, eyes o.k., ears seems fine (minus the hair that now grows in them), arms and legs seem to be working right, here comes the cough check and visual inspection of the man parts! Cold hands! Turn it over for the finger probe. No prostrate issues. Reflex test with the rubber mallet. All seems fine today. Good News right? Well, here it comes. “You are pushing your BMI index. Which indicates  you need to lose a few pounds (like 20!) I haven’t been 20 pounds lighter for over 5 years! I think your chart is predigest! I may not be a model or a washboard belly jock, but really?  I say we adjust the chart for us normal “Big Boned” or “Healthy citizens!” Who’s with me? Go ahead and get dressed.

O.k. time for a blood draw and urine test. Been fasting for a while. Not to much liquid ready to be released but I’ll give it a go. Done! Let’s burn off that thing on your arm that looks to be a wart! Why not! No problem. “Anything else you would like to mention before we get your test results back?” “Nope! I will make my comments to those concerns when you have the results. By the way, my wife wanted me to make sure you understand that I do NOT take very good care of myself. So if you have bad news, it’s all my fault!”

Guess I will see where I stand with my health in the next few days. Feeling good though. How you doin?

kp

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